poetsquib.com

Apparently after 340 years, the astounding idea has emerged that maybe, just maybe the next Poet Laureate should be a woman (of which I am one). This position used to last a lifetime but that was when people only lived for ten years. Now the rules have changed and the position lasts for ten years. What hasn’t changed is you still get 630 bottles of Spanish sherry (I could grow to like sherry)

However three of Britain’s leading female contenders for the spot have said they don’t want it (I’d be heaps more grateful if I was offered the job), complaining that it’s too high profile (I could grow to like fame) and underpaid (and who ever heard of an underpaid poet). But a very sensible person called Chloe Garner has said that maybe the laureate doesn’t have to be famous (oh my god that sounds like me) and in fact a newcomer would do just as well (pick me, pick me)

The first ever poet laureate was John Dryden who, as we all know, had a similar moniker to mine, Poet Squab. Is this mere coincidence or destiny? Or a brief episode of megalomania?